I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,
she said: Cheque books.
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* The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
prices of new car.
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* What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
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* Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute
and then expects your pulse to be normal.
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* Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
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* Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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* Q: What's the difference between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so.