Caring at Christmas

[Grommit]

I don’t know about other carers but I find it very difficult to get away from that feeling “It’s just another day.”

In the past, before Jean became wheelchair bound, we used to make an effort to attend the candle lit Carol Service at our village church. Always held in the early evening, on Christmas Eve, it was good see the local children playing out Nativity scenes in the traditional Nativity costumes of Dad’s dressing gown and Mother’s tea towel for the shepherds, colourful robes (something that Mother doesn’t wear anymore and can be cut up) and cardboard crowns for the Kings bearing boxes wrapped with shiny paper as ‘gifts’ for the baby.

Then the angels with 300 yards of white nylon curtains and cardboard wings that were impossible to keep in place so that one wing hung lower than the other and the tinsel halo which refused to stay still while they were walking. Of course, there was always one angel who stood out above the rest because the parents managed to dress their darling in designer angel wear hired from a fancy dress shop. I always used to wonder why the male angel Gabriel who is referred to as a Messenger, is never dressed the same as the female ones or vice versa for that matter.

The effort to get to the Church was well worth it to see Jean’s eyes sparkling as she watched the children and candle flames and made noises in response to the Carols. Out of tune noises, without and totally out of time but what did that matter. At the end of the Service I am sure she was calmer, more content and touched by the magic of it all.

This year we will miss all that. Jean’s condition has deteriorated and, two days ago she started being treated for an eye infection which means I have to keep her out of the cold and wind to give it every chance to heal properly.

Back home, the everyday routine of cooking, dressing, washing, cleaning and feeding has to continue. There is nothing magical about changing soiled underwear, nothing sparkling about cleaning her teeth, lifting her into bed and then sitting quietly downstairs with fingers crossed in the hopes that she will sleep this night instead of shouting and banging her legs up and down.
Christmas Day sees the same daily care pattern which is carried out on every other day of the year. Medication to be sorted out, breakfast to be fed, washing, dressing, lifting into and out of chairs, chopping up the turkey until it is small enough for her to swallow and trying to keep her waving, uncontrollable hands out of the gravy.

Wine with the dinner? Not possible as her taste for wine or spirits has gone and she recoils from the bouquet of wine or spirits before she even tastes it.

Party hats from crackers? The noise of crackers makes her jump and as soon as a party hat is put on, she takes it off again so it is just one more thing to pick up off the floor together with a half -eaten sprout that fell off the fork and a couple of Birds Eye frozen peas that rolled off the plate when she caught it with one of her waving hands.

The Christmas Tree is up and the lights are on, the cards are hung from a line of wool stretched between two drawing pins and I have found the Alistair Sim film version of Charles Dickens Christmas Carol.

Apart from decorating the wheelchair with tinsel, Christmas really is just another day.

For all those in a similar situation and, indeed, for those who are not, I wish you all the Best Christmas you can have.

[annie]

than999
I wish you the same Derek and to all our chillers
h###u h###u

[maureenho]

Even though my caring role sadly ended last January, Christmas is just another day to us.

Grommit have you seen our Carers Christmas blog on chill's front page?

Wishing you and Jean the very best for a peaceful Christmas.

8348

[wendy]

I am presuming that you wished this post to be private by not putting it in the Christmas board?

Don't miss our Christmas blog made up by all the members on our home page and kindly put together by Maureen.
http://chill4uscarers.co.uk/carers-chri ... t-present/

I wish you and Jean the very best of times
3.j 3.j 3.j

[Misspears]

I wish you both a peaceful Christmas

Love Ann x

[Rosalind]

Hope you and Jean have a peaceful Christmas.
c123