There is no point crying over..........
Posted: 13 Mar 2015, 10:33........... A clean duvet!
day 1 of mum not being here
As you know I have had an operation and have put my care in the hands of the gods! Or in this case my husband Lee.
It is 2 weeks and 1 day since my operation and my mum left yesterday. With the parting words of i will be back if you can't manage. Words that sent a chill through the heart of Lee! He has just about survived extended time with his mother in law! And I mean just!
I have run this operation and recuperation time like a military operation. There have been colour coded schedules and lists on the fridge for weeks. Everyone who is involved in helping (they did volunteer bless them) has been a located a colour. With the warning don't mess with the schedule under threat of court Marshall! My mum was a located red obviously and was the only one who can fiddle with it. Mainly as even though I am 46 I am scared sh*#$€# s by her!
The are menus on the fridge to prevent dithering and indesisiveness! The shopping is done from my bed on the tablet, and the house or has been split into manageable chunks.. sounds easy doesn't it?
Now add in that I care for Lee not the other way round. I have been in turmoil since I found out I needed this hysterectomy as the recovery is a long time ad the ability to lift or do anything is prohibited. When my mum was here I felt safe and secure. I'm sure most of you lie me find that an alien concept. We are the ones who provide that in our households and not a feeling we have ourselves with the mountain of our responsibilities.
flying solo so to speak and the schedule is going well. I have been fed, watered and had my shower.mnow while I have my shower my mum changes my bedding. So Lee , bless him (remember the fear he has of my mother returning!) Is now doing battle with a task he hasn t done in over a decade ( not necessarily because he hasn't always been able but due to the fact he is a man!) I come back to the wreck of a husband looking defeated over the right way round for a sheet. The pain he is in ad the tears he is now in set me off. I feel useless, a burden and totally out of control. I join him at the end of the bed sobbing over a clean duvet cover.
He has retired in a sweaty mess to his recliner chair and I thought (as I sniff and snot) that maybe this could turn into a positive experience if I share it with you. Lee has announced next week he will get his mum to do the bedding! We are back on track, tears dried, sense of humour peering round the corner and on its way to returning.
I have had a small peek into the life of my loved one I care for. It is humbling and restores my strength of mind to remember this when I care for him again. Being the dared one is mentally tough and I can see how debilitating it can be on your self esteem.. so half way through day one and many a lesson learnt. We are working together more now and I can see the months of planning and scheduling will pay off. There may be more tears along the way but at least I have a clean bed!So day one flyi
So
day 1 of mum not being here
As you know I have had an operation and have put my care in the hands of the gods! Or in this case my husband Lee.
It is 2 weeks and 1 day since my operation and my mum left yesterday. With the parting words of i will be back if you can't manage. Words that sent a chill through the heart of Lee! He has just about survived extended time with his mother in law! And I mean just!
I have run this operation and recuperation time like a military operation. There have been colour coded schedules and lists on the fridge for weeks. Everyone who is involved in helping (they did volunteer bless them) has been a located a colour. With the warning don't mess with the schedule under threat of court Marshall! My mum was a located red obviously and was the only one who can fiddle with it. Mainly as even though I am 46 I am scared sh*#$€# s by her!
The are menus on the fridge to prevent dithering and indesisiveness! The shopping is done from my bed on the tablet, and the house or has been split into manageable chunks.. sounds easy doesn't it?
Now add in that I care for Lee not the other way round. I have been in turmoil since I found out I needed this hysterectomy as the recovery is a long time ad the ability to lift or do anything is prohibited. When my mum was here I felt safe and secure. I'm sure most of you lie me find that an alien concept. We are the ones who provide that in our households and not a feeling we have ourselves with the mountain of our responsibilities.
flying solo so to speak and the schedule is going well. I have been fed, watered and had my shower.mnow while I have my shower my mum changes my bedding. So Lee , bless him (remember the fear he has of my mother returning!) Is now doing battle with a task he hasn t done in over a decade ( not necessarily because he hasn't always been able but due to the fact he is a man!) I come back to the wreck of a husband looking defeated over the right way round for a sheet. The pain he is in ad the tears he is now in set me off. I feel useless, a burden and totally out of control. I join him at the end of the bed sobbing over a clean duvet cover.
He has retired in a sweaty mess to his recliner chair and I thought (as I sniff and snot) that maybe this could turn into a positive experience if I share it with you. Lee has announced next week he will get his mum to do the bedding! We are back on track, tears dried, sense of humour peering round the corner and on its way to returning.
I have had a small peek into the life of my loved one I care for. It is humbling and restores my strength of mind to remember this when I care for him again. Being the dared one is mentally tough and I can see how debilitating it can be on your self esteem.. so half way through day one and many a lesson learnt. We are working together more now and I can see the months of planning and scheduling will pay off. There may be more tears along the way but at least I have a clean bed!So day one flyi
So