Does anyone have some advice for me?

[JaneJ]

Not sure where to start with this to be honest.

I am having trouble with Lee,s behaviour. It is a two fold problem really.

Firstly his verbal behaviour. The way he talks to me and the girls is very agressive. It is like he is looking for the girls to be rude to him so he can shout at them. When they aren't which they rarely are he still shouts at them and uses bad language. I have tried addressing it but he denies he does it. It has been going on so long now it has ruined his relationship with our eldest and is well on the way to doing the same with the youngest. I am finding it very hard as it is knocking my confidence to talk to him as he so awful to me too. Then there are days when he is lovelybut we are all so wary of him that westay out of his way which he can't understand.

Since his illness which has been going on for nearly 12 years his social skils have hit rock  bottom. He does find it hard to talk to people and can be inappropriate in the way he talks which is why I don't invite people round anymore

I have tried to support him in this and talk to him but he says he will think before he speaks then doesn't.

Secondly we have a problem that he won't wash or clean his teeth then wonders why there is no physical relationship between us and why yhe girls won't go near him. He used to sleep in the loungeon a bed which he hatedas he wanted to be in bed with me but he found it hard geting up stairs. He now struggles but manages itbut it was on the understanding that he attend to his hygiene issues on a daily basis. I now have a smelly problem in my bed. He is adamant he only misses the odd day. It is such an occassion I mark iton the calendar when he has one but he accuses me of lying. The other day he swore black and blue he had washed but the smell coming off him tells the truth. Why does he lie?

I am really struggling with this and the atmosphere in the housefor the girls. What am I doing wrong to make him behave this way verbally and hygeinically?

Any advice greatly received.

Sorry this is so long winded. I hope you didn't nod off half way through!

[wendy]

[JaneJ]

[maureenho]

[Misspears]

[JaneJ]

[annie]

[Rosalind]

[pamella]

[wendy]

[Honey]

[JaneJ]

Thank you all so much. Your support means so much.

Lee is on antidepressants  and under the crisis team who don't seem to be doing anything that is helping him. I worry that if I push him to far by talking about it he will make another attempt on his life.

I just don't know what to do for the best, or what to do in general.

I really don't know what IT would do without you all. Thank you

Xxxxxx