How things are.

[wendy]

A carer in Norfolk is waiting for an emergency hernia operation.
He is the main carer for his wife who has severe dementia and does not know who he is.
When he phoned social services to arrange for somewhere for his wife to be cared for whilst he is in hospital and receiving care after, he was told that social services cannot get involved until he has the date for his op.
Bearing in mind he could be called in tomorrow or very soon.
He is seeing their gp tomorrow and is hoping that he will make them see common sense.
His wife could be sent anywhere and he would not have the opportunity to visit before her admission.
Isn't this stupid?

[maureenho]

I would suggest they request a proper assessment, it sounds like they are not currently in the social care system.

[wendy]

The wife attends a day centre. They had a continuing care assessment some time back, so yes they are in the system.

[coffee]

people are viewed more like a number not individuals that should be treated with respect and dignity regardless of age or status coffeex

[maureenho]

If they have continuing care then the NHS would be the ones to speak to about it, unless they haven't got that far with the application yet.

[Rosalind]

That is terrible, he must be so worried.

[wendy]

Support for people who care for someone with dementia is very poor.
Let us hope the GP will sort it out today with social services.
I will let you know as soon as I hear anything, but the husband is very worried and wants the best for his wife, on top of his own concerns and pain with his health.

[maureenho]

It is very worrying when the carer has heath needs, it was one of my biggest fears.

[wendy]

The doctor wasn't much help because he said he needed a date of admission to hospital.
Social services have been to visit and they are now helping.
They are arranging for a new assessment to be done on the wife asap because the support worker could see how she has detiorated.
SS will give a list of the nursing homes that have vacancies, once they have a date, but the husband may have to pay any extra if the costs exceed what SS will pay.
Throughout all of this, the carer is in great pain and struggling to care for his wife.

[maureenho]

Glad SS are now going to help, quite often you have to pay some towards Nursing home fees, I had to with my Mum.

[wendy]

thank you Maureen, that is a help and I will pass it on.
I know some people have to pay the full amount, which must be terrible worry.