New laws of nature

[annie]

Law of  Mechanical Repair - After your  hands become coated with grease, your nose will  begin to itch and you'll have to wee.

Law of  Gravity - Any  tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll  to the least accessible corner.

Law of  Probability - The  probability of being watched is directly  proportional to the stupidity of your  act.

Law of  Random Numbers - If you  dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal  and someone always answers.

Supermarket  Law - As soon  as you get in the smallest queue, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation  Law - If you  change queues (or traffic lanes), the one you  were in will always move faster than the one you  are in now.
 
Law of the  Bath - When  the body is fully immersed in water, the  telephone rings.

Law of  Close Encounters - The  probability of meeting someone you know  increases dramatically when you are with someone  you don't want to be seen with.

Law of  the Result - When  you try to prove to someone that a machine won't  work, it will.

Law of  Biomechanics - The  severity of the itch is inversely proportional  to the reach.

Law of  the Cinema & Theatre - At any  event, the people whose seats are furthest from  the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones  who will leave their seats several times to go  for food, drink or the toilet and who leave  early before the end of the performance or the  game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come  early, never move once, have long gangly legs or  big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the  performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The  Coffee Law - As soon  as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your  boss will ask you to do something which will  last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's  Law of Lockers - If there  are only 2 people in a locker room, they will  have adjacent lockers.

Law of  Physical Surfaces - The  chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing  face down on a floor, are directly correlated to  the newness and cost of the carpet or  rug.

Law of  Logical Argument - Anything  is possible if you don't know what you are  talking about.

Brown's  Law of Physical Appearance - If the  clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's  Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's  Law of Commercial Marketing  Strategy - As soon  as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors'  Law - If you  don't feel well, and make an appointment to go to  the doctor, by the time you get there you'll  feel better... But don't make an appointment,  and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over  and over with taking children to the medical centre .