Carers Chill4us | Carers message board

More than a quarter of pensioners are not looking forward to Christmas because of loneliness and concerns that it brings back bad memories, according to research.

Some 26 per cent of older people – the equivalent of 2.8 million in Britain – suggested that the festive season would not be a time of happiness this year.

It emerged that some 450,000 over-65s faced the prospect of Christmas alone while large numbers of also feared it “brought back too many memories of those who had passed away”.


http://chill4us.com/news/450000-elderly ... -this-year

I hate the thought of the loneliness this time of can bring.

Television tells us how happy we should be and what it is like having family around you. To see this on a daily basis every where you turn must make it even harder.

I would love to be able to hold a giant Christmas so everyone could be with friends and enjoy the real meaning of Christmas.

Losing someone dear and not being able to face this time of year is so sad. It breaks my heart.

Thinking of those who will struggle this year.  ca99

That is so sad, loss can feel a lot more acute at holiday times

I know a lot of people who will be on their own this Christmas. We do have a local drop in that provides Christmas dinner and a present for anyone who wants to go. They are open Monday to Friday throughout the year, and provide a dinner for one pound, and soup and a sandwich for 50p. People can also wash their clothes there and have a shower. Absolutely anyone can go. I think that they do a wonderful work. I hate Christmas, being a killjoy, as I have lost so many loved ones, and now find it hard to cook for family members. This year they will have to help a lot. I can't complain tho, as I have had many, many Christmas' alone in the past. x Jeanne

gpr  We'll be on our own again this Christmas as we have been for a number of years.  Everyone we know will have family together on the day.  There may be Christmas Day events to go to but because hubby is not able to go out, we'll both be at home.    We have not chosen this life - just have to accept what we cannot change and get on with it the best way we can.    There will be many others who will be on their own at Christmas, not only Carers and those they look after of course.

I do try to keep in mind what Christmas is really about but a wee bit of festive fun would be very nice too.


PS:  Just watching the news - Philippines - they won't have a wonderful Christmas to look forward to - kind of puts things in perspective doesn't it?

tha22222  Bless you Honey  xx

We also must not forget the person being cared for feels isolated, if not more not being able to do anything about it.

That is true Mo if the person being cared for realises the situation.  However there must be many people like me who are caring for someone who is not aware and therefore is not upset by spending Christmas as just another day like every other day.  Birthdays, anniversaries etc are all the same.     

I hate Christmas I'm always glad when Christmas day is over,I know quite a lot of people who don't like Christmas
Ann x

its stressful for my  carees who  are used to a daily routine.
I try to make it stress free for them but am glad when its all over and things are back to normal daily living.
x

I am new to this site

I have a problem as I am on my own I lost my sister in september this year who i miss very much
my youngest  daughter has asked me round for xmas day  but my ex and his partner has been invited as well as they moved to the area recently and I think things will be arquard  as I dont want to be ignored as I was at the pub we all went to for my grandsons graduation
my daughter gets stressed up with xmas anyhow as she has 2 sons and my eldest daughter will come as well  i went to my sons last year just the 3 of us but this year shes having her family and grandchildren

I would be glad to hear any advice

gpr  Dear Dothan - Because I care for hubby who is housebound, I am pretty much housebound looking after him so not in the same situation as you are now. 

I have read that after losing someone close and dear to you, you should accept every possible invitation to be with people and in doing that you hope to find help to adapt to your life from now on. 

Christmas has become so hyped up - the expectation that everyone will get along well together and will have a happy happy time sometimes does work out but quite often it is less than ideal.  I think in your situation I would accept the invitation and look forward to having a nice time and maybe enjoy the company more than you expect.  However, you could keep in mind an excuse/reason for leaving if/when you feel you need to. 

It's good that your daughter has included you in the family get together - I hope she will not feel too stressed - maybe you could offer to help in some way, eg is there something you could prepare and bring along on the day?  You could also offer help like clearing dishes from table ready for next course - that way you are moving about a bit.

I hope you will have a lovely Christmas - and welcome to Chill 

Daisy

Welcome to Chill Dothan. I do hopethat you manage to enjoy Christmas day with your family, if possible.
Two of my daughters and their children will be coming Christmas Day, but it is getting too much for George and myself, as they never come early enough to help with the cooking and our place is quite small with little ones running about. I have to count my blessings, I know, because some people are on their own Christmas. I have often spent Christmas on my own too. Just that George now he is 90, gets so tired with so many people around.
My youngest daughter won't be here, as she is going to her girlfriends. The other two girls don't speak to her because she is gay. I thought that it was supposed to be the older ones that were considered narrow minded! so that is upsetting for me.
I hate Christmas, all that fuss for one day. Everything too materialistic these days. There are two day centres that we could have gone to and be picked up too, but the girls get upset if they can't come here, that is another dilemma! x Jenny

  654  You certainly will not be on your own at Christmas Jeanne - hope you will enjoy the family hustle and bustle on Christmas Day.