'I do my crying in the shower'

[annie]

Caring for a husband with dementia is a lonely and isolating experience, Alison Bulmer says.

"People say I am strong, but I don't feel strong a lot of the time. The shower gets a lot of my tears."

Her husband, Paul, 57, and from Cheshire, has a rare form of Alzheimer's disease that attacks the back of the brain.

This makes it hard for him to read, watch TV or drive, as well as wash, dress or lead an independent life.

He was diagnosed with Posterior Cortical Atrophy (PCA) in his early 50s, which came as a massive shock to his family - Alison and their two adult daughters.

"For him, it was a relief to get a diagnosis," Alison says. "But for us it was devastating.

"Paul was a keen runner, he loved to read and he had a successful career. All of that has been taken away."




It's incredibly hard seeing such a vital mind disappearing. He's shrinking into this little world
Alison Bulmer

Alison has given up work as a teacher to be a full-time carer for Paul. She says she had no other real choice.

"I hate the term 'carer'," she says. "I'm Paul's wife. But, increasingly, I find being a carer is much more at the fore now.

"I can't leave him on his own for more than an hour at a time.

"If it's dark, he can't find the light switch. He can't operate the TV. He will listen to audio books, but he struggles to follow the plot if it's complicated.

"I help him wash, dress and use the toilet.

"We used to be able to go out for meals with friends, but he doesn't like to do that now.

"He's embarrassed because I have to help him with his food.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35090765

[maureenho]

Dementia is such a cruel illness

[coffee]

Only those who care for one with dementia really know what its like and how horrid dementia is
all i can say one day no one will have to suffer this or any other illness even death will be done away with coffeex

[maureenho]

[wendy]

We had a member who used to say that she cried in the shower so no one would hear her.
So sad.

[daisy]

I value "that time" in the shower first thing in the morning - hubby has Vascular Dementia, needs help with everything

than999

[JaneJ]

Crying in the shower seems something we all do.

such an awful illness to live with and care for