Signs
Posted: 25 Jun 2016, 07:05Did I read that
sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department
store
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE
STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN
In an Office
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD
EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING
BOARD
Outside a second hand shop
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY
NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN
Notice in health food shop
window
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park (I sure hope
so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a
conference
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A
DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's
field
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT
THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET
WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop
door
WE CAN
REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't
you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called
the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before
the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in
a correction the next day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,
Expert Says
Really?
Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down
Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes
Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after
Death
Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting
Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair
trial!
War Dims Hope for
Peace
I can see where it might have that
effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May
Last Awhile
You think?!
Cold Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New
Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct
tape?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery
Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
Test Group
Weren't they fat
enough
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious
Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Drop-outs Cut in
Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors
Boy, are they that tall?
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds
Dead
sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department
store
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE
STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN
In an Office
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD
EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING
BOARD
Outside a second hand shop
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY
NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN
Notice in health food shop
window
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park (I sure hope
so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a
conference
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A
DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's
field
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT
THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET
WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop
door
WE CAN
REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't
you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and
Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called
the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before
the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in
a correction the next day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,
Expert Says
Really?
Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down
Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes
Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after
Death
Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting
Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair
trial!
War Dims Hope for
Peace
I can see where it might have that
effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May
Last Awhile
You think?!
Cold Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New
Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct
tape?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery
Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
Test Group
Weren't they fat
enough
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious
Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Drop-outs Cut in
Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors
Boy, are they that tall?
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds
Dead