Carers Chill4us | Carers message board

For the past few years I've done a Carers Christmas blog for our front page and would like to do one again for this year.

But I need your help 3.j

I write the blog up but I need your help as I do every year to add your thoughts, I just need a few lines saying what it is like as a family carer and past carer at Christmas time, no names will be included,

I would really like your contributions by the end of Saturday so I can get it posted on front page over the weekend.

than999

Thinking as a past carer, Christmas is difficult when sometimes it feels wrong to be happy if the person you loved has passed on.
No matter how many times someone tells you, that your relative would want you to be happy, it will not take away the pain of loss.

Sometimes it leaves you feeling as if you would like to just sit alone in the corner until the festivities are all over.

As a family carer a loved ones illness changes the way you would like to celebrate. It still revolves around the usual routine, so no break that most look forward to.

In my case with 2 children and my parents living far away we can't spend Christmas with family and due to the size of our house they can't come to us. I feel very sad and angry sometimes that we miss out on family time and have done for a decade. My parents are in their 70's now and I feel we missing out on precious time with the girls grand parents and them with us. The girls have missed so much time with them.

I know this is a selfish thing to be thinking of when I should be grateful with what I have.

Christmas day is just the same as any other, as caring has to carry on & often paid carers are in short supply, & with limited or no out of hours service, it can be very isolating

Hubby's needs will be the same on Christmas Day as on all other days. He is housebound due to many health issues and increasingly due to dementia. We have no family here so we'll be on our own, again! There is no real conversation due to dementia so although TV and newspaper adverts suggest that the whole world is having a rather jolly time, the reality for many carers is quite the opposite.

Being a carer Christmas Day is no different from any other day except for the present you receive

Christmas is not the same since mum has slight Dementia, she is not interested anymore, I have to do all the Christians shopping, as it frightens her. It is a hard time, just another day.

like all other carers it is another day. Being Christmas or any holiday dosent make the caree less ill

Thank you everyone who has contributed so far than999

your input is an enormous help to me to put this special christmas blog together to tell the world what it is really like for carers at this time of year.

Irene says

Christmas to me is just the same as any other weekend, I will get my paid carers come in to look after my husband, and they are all lovely.

Christmas is the same as every other day for me. Just got my carer hours for Xmas and got care from people we really like.

Christmas itself will be fine - at home with hubby & 2 children/young adults.
Visiting relatives is a bit of a nightmare. Apparently it is easier for us to go to them as they don't have time to visit us or bring MIL to visit us. However, being in someone else's home or at restaurants is difficult - none of the adaptions we have at home such as handrails, ramps, supporting armchair etc are available meaning a lot harder work for my husband trying to cope & for me who ends up trying to lift & haul him & his wheelchair, toilet seat etc around. Consequently it takes days to recover from the 2 hour journey each way & all the extra ups & downs. My husband is left exhausted & unwell from the effort...........obviously it is a lot easier for us to go to them!

I am really pleased with the response from everyone who has contributed so far, I think this years blog is going to be one of the best so far.

Thank you to our newcomer seaside deb for your thoughts wel222

from Wendy and Peter

It is always difficult at Christmas to take flowers to our son's grave, who died in his mid life, but it gives some comfort to us thinking that he has a gift.
He was not ill and died of a sudden stroke.

" I have often been asked how did I manage as a carer at Christmas " well my lifeline was Chill4us evening time when I was getting low I always had that hour of chat to look forward too, thing have changed since those days now that I am on my own I still use chill chatroom to get me through the evenings , sometimes it's the only person I talk too all day, Thanks Chill4us

Barry

Thank you Barry for your thoughts, it is a big help.

Wendy, say thank you to Wendy and Peter from me.

when one is working and caring it is very stressful and tiring getting everything done , as well as all the usual day to day caring duties.

Thank you Honey.

The blog should be ready to post on our front page later tonight, there is still a little time left if you haven't already contributed.

than999

Thank you Mo than999

Have you read Mo's blog, it is very good with thanks to all of you.

http://chill4uscarers.co.uk/carers-chri ... t-present/

Well done Mo, you have produced a great blog for all to read. ))))3

Thank you Daisy and Rosalind,

The picture on blog is one I've done myself.

3.j 3.j 3.j

than999 Mo that was a lovely blog