Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper.
I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ...... then I saw her face, now I'm a believer!
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of redhead matches.
His little face lit up when he tried to walk. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.